Touched
by Elizabeth Wilde
Summary: Logan returns to the school
1. Fugitive

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: "Fugitive"   
Series: Touched  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks nicely for it, http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/xfic.html  
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men, unfortunately. I'd really love to own Scott. But for now I'm just borrowing them, so don't sue! I also don't own the song "Fugitive" by Indigo Girls.  
'Ship: none   
Classification: vignette  
Summary: Logan thinks about his life since leaving Xavier's School.  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: the movie  
Feedback: to wilde_moon@yahoo.com please  
Notes: You can see the graphic I made for this story at http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/fugitive.html  
  
I'm harboring a fugitive  
Defector of a kind  
And she lives in my soul,  
Drinks of my wine,  
And I'd give my last breath  
To keep us alive.  
  
Wolverine had assumed that when he went roaring away from the Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters on Scott's bike that it would be Jean's gentle smiles and ample curves that would be haunting his memory and calling him back. Instead, a small girl with white streaks burned into her shining hair and dark eyes that held all the pain of the world followed him. She lay down with him at night when he checked into the cheapest motel he could find and drank bitter coffee with him the next morning.   
  
He could almost hear her voice in his ear as he sped down the highway, "Runnin' again?" Try as he might to ignore it, Marie was always there. Her powers were only supposed to be a one-way transfer, but somehow the kid had gotten into his mind almost as much as he had into hers. He fought against the connection and found comfort in it at the same time. Being alone had never been anything Logan gave a second thought. Loneliness was his way of life. Rogue didn't know that sort of isolation yet, and she looked to him for shelter even after finding new friends, kids her own age.   
  
He silently cursed himself for hurting her, then chanted over and over, "It's what's best for her."  
  
Baby, I'm so sorry  
Now it's coming to you;  
The lessons I've learned  
Won't do you any good  
You've got to get burned.  
Well the curse and the blessing,  
They're one in the same.  
Baby, it's all  
Such a treacherous gain.  
  
Another bug whizzed by Logan's face and he scowled, wondering again how knowing what caused the nightmares that kept him from a decent night's sleep could help. Now Rogue knew the dreams too. He wondered if they kept her awake, if she feared sleep as he did. Sometimes when he sat bolt upright in the middle of the night, sweat trailing down his body, he could almost feel her doing the same thing. Logan could never be sure whether the feeling was real or imagined. He assured himself that there was no way they could be so connected.   
  
Either way, he hated thinking that she felt that pain, hated thinking she knew the terror of the cutting and prodding and helplessness. She couldn't understand what it all was. It reminded him of who he was, what he was. For her, it was only pain. Because of that pain, she knew him better than anyone had in his entire life. It was almost as if she had been there with him. He would never have to pretend it didn't matter or hold anything back around Marie. She understood.   
  
And he had run away from her, too scared of himself to reach out and make the effort, to offer her the friendship she still needed.  
  
We are fortunate ones,  
Fortunate ones,  
I swear.  
  
Logan pulled over to the side of the road and covered his face with his hands, fingers massaging away the edges of a headache. His quest for the past was just another way of holding the future at arms' length. Always he had felt that if he knew his past, maybe he could finally have a future, but he had stood staring at a bright future, one that would allow him to do and learn things impossible anywhere else, and he had closed his eyes and walked away. Maybe Cyclops drove him crazy. Maybe living so close to Jean without ever having her would be torture. Maybe Storm seemed strange to him. Maybe Xavier dug deeper inside Wolverine than he liked. It was still the best chance anyone had ever given him.  
  
Turning the bike manually, Logan began back down the road he came from, repeating to himself that it had nothing to do with a certain young girl with white hair and memories of a life that wasn't her own.  



	2. Touch Me Fall

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: "Touch Me Fall"   
Series: unnamed  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks nicely for it, http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/xfic.html  
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men, unfortunately. I'd really love to own Scott. But for now I'm just borrowing them, so don't sue! I also don't own the song "Touch Me Fall" by Indigo Girls.  
'Ship: none   
Classification: angst/vignette  
Summary: Rogue thinks about her connection to Logan.  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: the movie  
Feedback: to wilde_moon@yahoo.com please  
Notes: You can see the graphic I made for this story at http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/touchmefall.html  
  
Touch me  
I'm so beautiful.  
Rub your hands  
Across my head  
Just like this.  
Come with me  
Now it's not worth it  
If you don't.  
Are you hiding?  
I am hiding.  
  
Rogue pulled her knees in close to her chest and rested her chin on them, eyes half closed in the darkness of her room. For a moment, she let her mind drift, found herself wishing to hear Logan thrashing and moaning in the other room so she could have an excuse to go inside. It would be worth getting skewered again to have someone who understood her. More than that, someone who had touched her.  
  
She rocked gently back and forth on the bed, remembering when her mother had held her and rocked her the same way, fingers twining in her soft little girl hair, whispering words of comfort or humming soothing songs. Eventually that stopped, and no one touched her. No one even touched her hair, her glove-covered hands for fear of grazing the toxic skin. When she was sick, she had to hold her own hair and bathe her own face with cool water.   
  
Tears of self-pity made slick trails on the sides of Marie's face, but she ignored them. Instead she let her mind drift back to the day on the train when Logan had held her. Even though he knew what could happen if his skin accidentally came into contact with hers, he had sat with his arms around her, had touched her hair and spoke softly to her. Later, after Magneto tried to use her to mutate the world leaders, he brought her back to life with a touch. She had woken up with his lips and chin pressed to her forehead. Rogue remembered the moment with a smile. Thanks to Logan, she knew again what it was like to feel the kind of closeness that most people took for granted. He would have given his life to save hers that night, and almost had.   
  
Her fingers wound through the chain of his dog tags and her eyes gazed beyond the room's deepening shadows.   
  
Touch me  
I'm so beautiful.  
Rub your hands  
Across my head  
Just like this.  
Come with me  
Now it's not worth it  
If you don't.  
Are you crying?  
I am crying.  
  
She had friends at the school; there was no question about that. Bobby especially seemed to enjoy her company, and she enjoyed his every bit as much. That made it all harder somehow. Not only did she have to keep her distance from people she didn't know but from her friends as well. Rogue fell back onto the bed, hugging her pillow to her chest and burying her face in it.   
  
Jean sometimes gently teased her about having a crush on Logan. What Marie never bothered to explain was that her connection to Logan went beyond a mere crush. She shared his pain. Twice his mind had merged with hers, twice she had touched his soul. Now Rogue awoke nights bathed in sweat, fleeting images of foreign places and unknown pain filling her young mind. She knew things and remembered sensations she could never have experienced herself. The only person who understood all of that had left.   
  
Thrusting the pillow behind her head once again, Rogue wished Logan would return. He couldn't find anything in Canada that was more important than what he'd left behind at the school, that much she knew. She needed to ask him about things she had felt through his mind. First and foremost, she wondered why he left without telling Dr. Grey how he felt. When he was still unconscious in the infirmary, she'd found herself gazing at Jean for minutes on end without knowing why, memorizing the scent of her hair. It took Marie a little time to realize that the protective, longing feelings were Logan's love for the beautiful doctor, not hers.   
  
Mostly, though, Marie wanted Logan to come back for herself. She needed someone who wasn't scared of her in the slightest but who understood why they should be. In the darkness, she felt small and alone and young, too young to be worried about her place in the world and why it was such a solitary one.   
  
Taking a deep breath, she lay back to sleep, part of her welcoming the nightmares which would almost surely come with their assurance of Logan's presence within her, ignoring once again the tears falling onto her pillow.   
  



	3. 

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: "Second Thoughts"   
Series: unnamed  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks nicely for it, http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/xfic.html  
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men, unfortunately. I'd really love to own Scott. But for now I'm just borrowing them, so don't sue! I also don't own the song "Power of Two" by Indigo Girls.  
'Ship: none   
Classification: vignette  
Summary: Logan returns to the school.  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: the movie  
Feedback: to wilde_moon@yahoo.com please  
Notes: You can see the graphic I made for this story at http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/poweroftwo.html  
  
So we're okay,  
We're fine.  
Baby, I'm here to stop your crying,  
Chase all the ghosts from your head;  
I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed,  
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart.  
We'll look at them together then we'll take them apart  
Adding up the total of a love that's true  
Multiply life by the power of two.  
  
Wolverine left Scott's motorcycle by the front gate and stalked toward the entrance to Xavier's School. He'd considered stashing it in the woods and telling Cyclops he'd wrecked it just to get a reaction, but Logan didn't want to risk it getting stolen by anyone but him. Part of him still said to turn around and walk back the way he'd come, but, Logan realized, he didn't really know what that way was. Predictably, the door was open when he reached it. If anyone unsavory came around, they wouldn't make it far anyway.  
  
Entering the school, Logan suddenly froze. Jean Grey stood just inside the door, mouth slightly agape, eyes wide. She recovered quickly, smiling warmly and stepping closer. "Logan! I'm glad you decided to come back to us." Tilting her head to the side, she asked, "What about Canada?" No accusation colored the question, only curiosity and a hint of amusement.  
  
"Yeah, well, didn't seem that important after I thought about it." He fished for something--anything--to say and failed. The urge to run away again was almost overwhelming in the face of her beauty and kind welcome. "Where's Rogue?"  
  
"Upstairs." Jean's dark eyes seemed to see through him as easily as before. "She's missed you too. Why don't you go on up?"  
  
Nodding shortly, Logan walked past Jean and then ascended the stairs. He barely suppressed a snarl at seeing Cyclops talking with one of the students at the head of the stairs. The young man smiled and nodded to Wolverine as if seeing him was entirely expected. "Welcome back."  
  
Ignoring purposefully every cutting comment that sprung to mind, Logan ignored him, continuing towards Rogue's room. He stopped outside the door, mind searching for the best way to approach her. "Knocking might be a good idea," he mumbled to himself.   
  
After three quick taps on the door, Rogue's voice came, "Come on in."  
  
Logan turned the knob and silently berated himself for feeling nervous. "Hey." He offered a quick, strained smile and stepped inside. "Miss me?"  
  
Face suddenly beaming, Rogue launched herself off the bed and ran to Logan, stopped just short of throwing her arms around his waist. Instead she stopped awkwardly and half-smiled. "Yeah, I missed ya."  
  
Knowing Rogue was just trying to avoid hurting him, Logan took the initiative, drawing her close and giving her a warm hug. "No sense worryin' about stuff like this, okay, kid?"  
  
She nodded against his shoulder. "Okay."  
  
Finally stepping back, Wolverine studied Marie for a moment with a critical eye. "You sleepin' okay?"  
  
She shrugged noncommittally. "Sometimes." Her large eyes gazed up at him. "I have dreams most nights, though."  
  
"Yeah. I figured." Sighing, Logan sat down on the edge of her bed. "You shouldn't hafta have those. Not fit for anybody, let alone a kid like you."  
  
Rogue scowled at him. "I'm almost eighteen. I'm not a kid anymore." She sat down on the bed next to him. "'Sides, I've kinda liked knowin' about you more. Havin' the dreams made it seem like you weren't gone almost. They kinda helped." Suddenly something occurred to her and she untwined her fingers from the tags around her neck. Lifting them over her hair, Rogue held them out for Logan to take back. "I kept 'em for ya."  
  
"Thanks." He reached for them, then reconsidered and let his hand fall. "Know what? You keep 'em. You hang onto those and that way I can't ever get too far, okay?"  
  
She slipped the tags over her head again, fingers instantly tangling themselves in the cold metal. "Okay. Not that I'd let ya leave again anyway."   
  
"You wouldn't, would you?" Logan almost laughed.   
  
"Nope. It's dull as dirt around here when you're gone."  
  
Laughing despite himself, Logan put his arm around Rogue's shoulder. "Since you put it that way, I guess I've gotta stay."  
  
"I knew ya couldn't leave more than once. You'd miss me too much."  
  
Logan sighed and smiled down at Marie. "Yeah. Yeah, I would."  



End file.
